Things havnt been great recently, just finding stuff hard to deal with. Must say some of the stuff was due to a lonely christmas, all my doing by the way. My pride gets in the way, I dont or I didnt want my mum, seeing me in the state I got myself in. Dec 13th I recieved another letter from a mental health service telling me I was being discharged again. Well today,10th Jan, I found out why they discharged me. It was because the guy I talked to at my assesment thought I was fobing him off. He said he knew I needed help, but couldnt figure out why I wasnt fully honest with him, my Doc tells me im good at "putting a brave face on" and yes im guilty of this, and today I told her why. I dislike being me, I cant look at myself, I feel like "some weirdo" who needs help with stuff a child can do. I guess, iv been seeing things differently. Iv always just wanted to chat to a shrink to fix the thoughts I have, if I thought right, id be ok, but that wouldnt fix everything. Iv not been out for enjoyment for years and this is the issue. So im hoping things have changed, maybe but untill any concrete happens. Talking about things helps, but has I have little people I can talk too doesnt help me. I'd be lost without twitter, but theres only so much strangers csn take of me talking about my shit. So I be me, which is great cus I dont feel judged, not that anyone has said anything to me. But, fingers crossed they wont judge me. KHbeano.