With the way things are with me at present I tend to do alot of day dreaming & wondering about what could of been. To be honest growing up I never had clear ideas on what I was going to do with myself. I had loads of interests, ranging from Cricket, Football to getting wasted with friends. Getting high solved alot of issues, issues I kept to myself, issues I didnt fully understand to be honest, I was a young guy growing up, with all the problems all teenage lads have but with mental health problems on top. Dont know why I'm telling you all this, but I enjoy writing about things & writing helps clear the puddles out my head. I may not of know what I wanted to do has a whipper snapper, but I do know what I want to do when I finally get over, get over is the wrong way of putting it but once I figure out how to deal with my mental health problems better I can live a some what normal life. I think one of the first things in going to do is sit in the sun & have a nice expensive coffee & bacon sandwich at some fancy cafe in Nottingham, my favorite City. Id also like to visit some Ancient Roman sites in the UK. Before all of this iv got to find work, I dont plan on doing some crappy factory 9 til 5 gig, that will only send me crazy & make me miserable which could make me ill again so I plan to go back to school & get proper qualifications for some real meaning full work. I quite like the idea of finishing what I started before I got ill. A degree in health & social care, would be nice to be able to hold my hand out to someone just like me, I think it would be so gratifying to be able to give someone that hand up, to help steer someone in the right direction so they can get better again just like me. Sadly, I'm still waiting for that person to help me & put me in the right direction. I know its me who has to do it at the end of the day, but if u get cancer, you get help to get better? So why in the UK in 2016 is it near on impossible to get help for mental health problems?? The brain is the most complex organ going, so stands to reason it may go wrong from time to time. Theres no shame in this, well I know this now, but there isn't.